Purging...my soul and home...lol

Bobby and I at my Brother-in -laws' wedding (early 2007)

Disclaimer: This will be a looooonng post but long overdue...LOL...and yes, in person, I talk more than this....ask everyone...LOL God bless their souls :)

Hey there All! Long time no talk! First, I want to thank all of you for the kind, sweet words you wrote me regarding my last post. I have been getting better with the whole "anticipating" a pregnancy and I'm leaving it in God's hands. Though it'd be great if I had another child, we are very blessed and truly happy for Bobby, our 4yo son. We couldn't have asked for a more perfect child...and if God meant for us to have 1 perfect child to fill our days, that's more than I can ask for. Karla, I'd like to thank you for having my link on your blog too...though I didn't mean to make you cry:)

Ok...so here goes the purging of my soul....I never really knew what it meant to "wait until I could afford something" or "budgeting for a small purchase" til this year...and it's not because I'm "well-off" I think it was because being a single-income family in the Princeton area, has finally caught up to us...and yes, we were living a little above our means (can I say daycare, SAM's club, "scrapbooking" and a nice cable package for this SAHM). So yes, it's a little embarrassing to tell you all this but I've gotta come clean....

So, it's been about 6 months since I last wrote and since then, things have been an uphill battle. My hubby and I have been stressing (big time) with the $$ and bills for the past months. Struggling meaning, late with rent. Yes, I'm sad to say I've joined the ranks of "late" renters. After not having this problem for the past 7 years of renting, it was a huge blow to our ego and our relationship. He was stressing not knowing how to stop the huge ball from rolling in the wrong direction, and me trying to keep a straight face for the sake of his sanity and our relationship...all the while wondering why and how we got into this huge mess.

Well, after months of penny-pinching, cutting down to basic cable, not shopping at Sam's for months, not even stepping foot in Michaels' or anything scrappy (alright I do have a membership with SOMO but it's ending soon:( only using our cells now instead of a home phone, and buying the bare-neccesities (I really mean bare), we are still in a mess but getting better. As of the beginning of August I decided to be inpsired by Run's House and Justine's roles at home and decided to handle all the bills. Why?

1) because it makes me feel important. Don't get me wrong, I am important for the simple fact that I have the role of a Mom and wife but I've always been one to pride myself of handling my business. After deciding to stay home, my budget-management responsibilities relied heavily on my hubby since I wasn't bringing home any of my own money anymore. So now having a say where it goes, brings me back to feeling responsible with other "wordly, businees duties"...
2) I decided to do this because I now know exactly how much is being doled out monthly and how much I have to spend (or not spend LOL). Women, if you're married and stay home, I encourage you to try this if you don't know what bills you have or what your money is being spent on because it empowers you and makes you appreciate you're hubby ALOT more for what he does everyday (Rob, sorry for all the times I nagged you about the amount of time you were working crazy amount of hours...without you, we wouldn't be living a cozy life at all). Not only that but, in case anything does happen to your hubby (God forbid) you won't be stuck trying to figure out stuff concerning who gets paid, what you used to pay for, or trying to teach yourself how to budget from scratch (my hubby says he doesn't want me to be stuck if anything ever happens to him). So with that said, I encourage you to try see where it all goes for at least 3 months. I'm budgeting at 3 months at a time to make it easier to me. Anyways,
3) I do this is because it frees my hubby sooo much! He doesn't stress much anymore because he trusts me. He says that I'm usually right (yes ladies, I have the best husband...but then again, I am usually right LOL) so anything I do right now can only make matters better.

So, I have it mapped out and we should be okay (money in savings) by mid-October and all things caught up by the end of December. And, hopefully this time around, be able to afford my hernia operation (one year later). Yes, couldn't have it done in January because the bill of $1,000 was sprung on me one week prior to the operation, because I have sucky insurance right now. Anywho...onto the better side of things....

We are moving! Okay not to a house but to a smaller condo at the same condo community. It's gonna be small because we are losing a den (which was being used as my scraproom) and our guest bathroom but, it's for the better. It's alot cheaper and it's still in the area so I'm happy about that since I love it here and don't know anywhere else I'd rather live (did I say I'm never buying a house in NJ? HUGE property taxes!) So until I figure out what state I want to be in permanantly, I will rent. I know, I pay the same amount (if not more) in rent then my friends do their mortgage right now but...whatever. We're moving LOL.

Soooo right now we're in the process of purging BIG TIME...and I'm okay with that because I believe in using everything you've got and if you don't use it, you don't need it...a far cry from how I used to be but I'm glad I am the way I am now. It frees alot and those who have purged know this. My mom, on the other hand doesn't think so. She believes in having the "finer" things in life. In always being prepared (even if it means having 3+ sets of "fancy" dish sets for speacial occassions). Love you Mommy:) She thinks I'm "settling" to go from a 2 bedroom, 2 bath, den w/fireplace condo to something smaller when I should be looking into owning a house. So yeah, to her, I'm taking a step backwards. Of course this is coming from my parents who live in a huge house in Florida, having homes that always looked like it belonged in a home decorating magazine, and having anything you could possibly need in a seconds notice. But mind you, it hasn't been easy. They came to this country right before I turned 1 y.o. so they started from scratch with one baby at the time! I guess I should ask them for advice on how to save and budget...LOL.

Anyways, my Mom always says she doesn't undertand why I don't strive for more...a bigger house, a job, more "fancy" things but I believe what I have is enough. I don't need too much around me to make me happy. I do "want" for alot of things but have come to realize what I have is what I "need." What makes me truly, and I mean TRULY, happy are not always material things (ok...except for the occassional new stamp sets or scrapbook paper LOL ) but all that I will ever really need to make me happy in this world are my husband, my son, my friends, and my family. My extras in life are going to the cafe with the girls, bowling, laughing my butt off with hubby at something we're watching or his funny recollections of "old school" memories and jingles, going out with my sisters, acting silly with my son, a Starbucks Grande Chia latte at Barnes and Nobles, a nice, breezy, warm night walk...browsing antique shops on cobblestone, tree-lined streets. Stuff like that. My mom doesn't get me in that sense. Don't get me wrong, I'd LOVE to eventually own a converted warehouse/barn/firehouse loft with at least one exposed brick wall (love indoor brick walls), with a space for a garden (rooftop perhaps) but I will eventually get it (I'm confident because I usually get what I strive and work for...minus another child but I digress...) So I'm not stressing what she says. She means good and I do love her for that:) Anways, I always assure her that all I've got is all I'll need.

So yeah..."less is more" in my books...and I'm making someone somewhere happy with my donations:) Maybe this new move will start us on the right path again...Rob, remember how I said I want us to get back to our life on Murray street? Loved that year there. Maybe this is God giving us a hand at reclaiming our simple life like the one we had before? :)

Another piece of good news? My husband is going from working 80+hr job and a second weekend job, one of them a 1.5 hour commute from home...to a new job!!! Only 10 minutes from home and only 40hrs a week with reasonable hours from either 3pm-11pm or 11pm-7am! That means more time with him home! Not only that but they offered him way more than what he was expecting so he doesn't really "need" to get another job! Also, if I really wanted to and needed to, those hours are great if I decided to work a part-time while he was home with Bobby!! Yahoooo!!!!

Lastly, to be completely honest with everyone, I LOVED my son's 1st year experience with school at his daycare. LOVED it! Unfortunately, with our money situation lately, re-enrolling him in school for Pre-K in a Princeton daycare at close to $500 a month for 2 half days a week was not feasible. Therefore, we did not re-enroll him. We were stressing about it but came to the consensus that 1) he will be going in January 2) Um...yeah, I was a daycare teacher so I will be "homeschooling" him in the meantime 3) we will be trying to enroll him in gymnastics (loves jumping and such and seems interested) for him to interact with kids his age...not to mention that it costs 1/2 of a month's daycare tution to enroll him in gymnastics for the whole season of fall 4) Bobby hasn't asked about school...for him, it's still vacation 5) it's not mandatory to attend daycare here....I never went to pre-k or Kindergarten and I'm fine. I went to one year nursery and then straight to first grade and look at me:) LOL....

Anyways, believe me, it was a hard decision seeing that we and our family stress the importance of education (my family is one of doctors and engineers so my parents were are a little wary about us not giving him a "solid foundation") but he will have about 12+ years of being in school. So, with that said, I will be teaching him at home with all the materials I still own that I taught at school with before...and see Daddy, I told you, my $88,000 college education did pay off...all I've learned will be taught to Bobby...the next generation:) Just kidding, it's something he once said in jest but took back when he realized it didn't sound right. LOL. Love you Daddy:)

So yeah, three new things on our horizon! Hopefully with these changes and me handling our bills (helping the hubby out) we can get back to the life we once had.....barely watching tv (had only 6 channels at the time), rollerblading, going out for walks daily (but now with Bobby), riding bikes, spending every minute together, gardening, etc. A time when the bare neccesities were the best thing you could hope for and cherish, since it was all you had to live off of. Right now, I'm getting so excited about reclaiming the hard-core "domestic-goddess" role I once had a la Martha Stewart and my daily inspiration! Love ya girl! You help me dream when times are down....oh and I love white in my house too! LOL. Ok, enough with my cheesy giddiness....LOL

Well, that's all for now...phew! You still there? LOL...til next post!