Time...

So today I take my son to school and on the way out, I pass by the parent's cubby to pick up some "Parent mail." In the mailbox, I find a letter that happily informs me that my son Bobby is ready to move onto Preschool 2. It states:

"...He's growing up very quickly and it is time for him to transition to a new classroom. Bobby will visit the Preschool 2 class for a few hours every day so that he can get comfortable with the new environment. As of now, we are planning fro him to officially "move on Wednesday, Jan.3, 2007."

I was so sad and worried at the same time. Sad because he's growing up so fast...there's no slowing down time. I know I've been real good with spending a lot of time with him but lately I feel the world is rushing me and I'm making him rush with things (like getting ready to go out etc.) and I have to remind myself to slow down. I feel like it's going by too fast. In about 3 months I will be a mom to a 4 year old! My little Bobby, who still plays with my hand to fall asleep as he did when he was a baby, will be turning 4! Secondly, I'm worried because this is his first experience in a school. I feel like he just started to get comfortable with having a teacher figure and now, he's gonna have to get used to another teacher all together. He just started referring to his teacher by name about a month ago. Now to explain to him that he will no longer have her as a teacher? I don't want him to get all out of sorts with this new change. Lately he's been a little on the defiant side of things and I was guessing it was because of his age and because he's finally realizing he's away from me for a period of time throughout the day so I don't want this to cause him to have a bad time with school. He just started to get comfortable with his friends, telling me their names...Uh...stressing big time here. I haven't had the chance to tell my hubby but I'm guessing he's gonna tell me not to worry. I guess it is a good thing though...I mean, I could've received a letter stating that he was not ready because he's not maturing so...I just hope they explain it to him. That it's a good thing. I hope they didn't pull him out of the class today. Tomorrow's fine because at least I'll have the chance to explain to him the "good news" so that he won't feel like he's done something wrong to be moved to another class. I hope he has some familiar faces from his class going too. OK...so you heard me freak out...I'll be fine. I'm just a little caught off guard that's all.

Oh...and on the subject of time going too quick...Just the other day I was telling my husband that after seeing a special on young, successful entrepeneurs in their 20's I felt like I missed the boat. I felt like I could never be the 20 yo prodigy with a cool business of my own or someone that traveled the world like I once had when I was living at home with my parents anymore because that time passed. As I watched the special I realized, really realized that time is slipping by no matter what. I've always pushed things off like "Oh, one day I'll have a cool boutique" but after I watched the special I realized, one day is today.

It finally dawned on me that life really isn't a dress rehearsal. We can't sit and wait for the perfect moment for anything. We have to do it now or else life will just pass by without being spent well. I can't turn back time because now I know better. I can't go back to 20 and start over because I'm better informed and now because of all that procrastinating and gathering info, a whole decade passed already. I'm freaking already 30! for goodness sakes and if I don't get up and strap my boots and throw on my backpack, in matter of speaking, I will soon be 40 thinking, "My whole time as a 30-something yo old woman passed and I can't say I did anything spectacular with it." Don't get me wrong, during my 20's I did graduate with a BA in English, I was a teacher, I got married to my college sweetheart, and I had a beautiful son. That is a spectacular feat within itself (how many of those successful 20 yo's can say that right?) but I think my thing is that I want to travel more and have new experiences. I want to create things that will make an impact to alot of people. I can't waste time second-guessing myself or planning things to death because I'm not guaranteed even another day...none of us are.

Around this time last year I came to a point in my life where I dropped some major baggage down and walked away. I was happy to leave it behind. I made amends with myself and with whom I had to do it with. I'm hoping that this new year I realize that life is not a dress rehearsal. That I will not have a chance to go back and do what I want. That once time passes all I'm guaranteed is the present moment. Not yesterday or tomorrow...so I will make everyday count....my days won't be a constant run-on sentence that eventually acccumulates to just days on the calendar. They will count so that at the end of a decade in my life, I will be able to say, "All the experiences I had with friends, family, and myself have brought me to this..." and have something grand to show for it...

eta: Picked up my son and he did go to the new class for the day and...HE WAS SO EXCITED! The minute he saw me he told me about the new centers in the new class, the teacher he calls Miss Linda (Ms. Melinda) LOL and how he was on the computer and a few details of the game on the comp that he played. He talked about it the whole way home so I'm guessing he's pretty fine with it all. Oh, and I talked to my husband about it when he called from work (before I picked up Bobby from school) and he said that it should be great news and that Bobby will be fine as long as I "seem " fine about the whole change. I guess I was stressing it too much huh? LOL:) Anywho..Bobby said he did like the new class so I'm okay now...LOL...